health mental health wellness

Day One, Again

I’ve been away from here for too long. I used to have a lot of fun writing blog posts here for others to enjoy and maybe learn something new from, and I thoroughly enjoy reading the posts of other bloggers on here, some of which are absolutely inspiring and have made my day on many occasions.

This isn’t likely to be a popular post, and many may not feel interested, because it’s not the typical blog post I would write here; but I feel like it’s necessary for me to write it. I want to hold myself accountable, even if it’s just for me.

I have not kept my steady yoga practice for about 2 months.

Something that used to bring me so much energy, peace, pride in myself; one day, I just couldn’t bring myself to do anymore. It motivated me, made me happy, and helped me love my body more, little by little.

I live with Severe Major Depressive Disorder, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have dealt with my depression, and the many things that come along with it since I was about 10. Actually, trying to fight it off was what led me to finding yoga in the first place.

The hardest part about this for me, and I think many people who deal with the same things I do, is the want to get up and do something about it, but feeling an absolute inability to do so.

But I’m tired of succumbing to my problems and just telling myself that it’s okay to do so. Of course, it isn’t always that simple for everyone by any means, but as of now; I’m ready to fight it back again. I stopped being proactive about my mental, physical, and emotional health; and that is what I need to change. My personal feeling is that it’s okay to struggle, to suffer from this condition, and to have hard days; but it isn’t okay to not take responsibility for it and try to heal and get better.

I have backtracked and lost a lot of the progress I made in my health journey. I’ve gained weight back, and I’ve been eating terribly. For the sake of honesty and transparency, I have a terrible nicotine addiction as well.

Now, and starting today, I’m going to be making an effort to change that. I hope you guys will come along for the ride with me, and I’ll be posting more often here to hold myself accountable.

Yoga brings me peace, solace, and teaches me new ways to care for myself and my body. And that’s what I need.

Here’s to Day One (again). I’m nervous to post this, but I want to hold myself accountable, and I also want you to know if you’re suffering with Major Depression, or any other mental illness that you feel holds you back from doing what you love, you aren’t alone, because we’re in the same boat and we can walk it together.

I’ll wrap this one up with a quote I’ve kept in mind and looked back on for many years. It’s kept me going many times before.

The best way out is always through.

Robert Frost
Me, today

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